PEPITO strikes again...

A grade school teacher in Las Milpas asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence. Maria put up her hand and said, "Myfamily went to my abuelito's farm, and we all saw his pet cabrito. It was fascinating."

The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted you to use the word "fascinate, not fascinating". Enriqueta shyly raised her hand. She said, "My family went to see los pyramids and I was fascinated." The teacher said, "Well, that was good Enriqueta, but I wanted you to use the word "fascinate."

PEPITO raised his hand.

The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Pepito before. She finally decided there was no way he could damag the word "fascinate", so she called on him. Pepito said, "My Tia Nina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her chichis are so big she can only fasten eight."

The teacher cried.

Miracle of a brother's love song - true story

A Special Story

Like any good mother, when Karen found out that another baby was on the way, she did what she could to help her 3-year-old son, Michael, prepare for a new sibling. They found out that the new baby was going be a girl, and day after day, night after night, Michael sang to his sister in Mommy's tummy. He was building a bond of love with his little sister before he even met her.

The pregnancy progressed normally for Karen. In time, the labor pains came. Soon it was every five minutes, every three, every minute. But serious complications arose during delivery and Karen found herself in hours of labor. Would a C-section be required?

Finally, after a long struggle, Michael's little sister was born. But she was in very serious condition. With a siren howling in the night, the ambulance rushed the infant to the neonatal intensive care unit at Mary's Hospital, Knoxville, Tennessee.

The days inched by. The little girl got worse. The paediatrician had to tell the parents there is very little hope. Be prepared for the worst.

Karen and her husband contacted a local cemetery about a burial plot. They had fixed up a special room in their house for their new baby but now they found themselves having to plan for a funeral.

Michael, however, kept begging his parents to let him see his sister. "I want to sing to her", he kept saying. Week two in intensive care looked as if a funeral would come before the week was over. Michael kept nagging about singing to his sister, but kids are never allowed in Intensive Care. Karen decided to take Michael whether they liked it or not. If he didn't see his sister right then, he may never see her alive.

She dressed him in an oversized scrub suit and marched him into ICU. He looked like a walking laundry basket. The head nurse recognised him as a child and bellowed, "Get that kid out of here now. No children are allowed." The mother rose up strong in Karen, and the usually mild-mannered lady glared steel-eyed right into the head nurse's face, her lips a firm line, "He is not leaving until he sings to his sister" she stated. Then Karen towed Michael to his sister's bedside.

He gazed at the tiny infant losing the battle to live. After a moment, he began to sing. In the pure-hearted voice of a 3-year-old, Michael sang: "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray."

Instantly the baby girl seemed to respond. The pulses rate began to calm down and become steady.

"Keep on singing, Michael," encouraged Karen with tears in her eyes. "You never know, dear, how much I love you, please don't take my sunshine away."

As Michael sang to his sister, the baby's ragged, strained breathing became as smooth as a kitten's purr.

"Keep on singing, sweetheart."

"The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping, I dreamed I held you in my arms".

Michael's little sister began to relax as rest, healing rest, seemed to sweep over her.

"Keep on singing, Michael." Tears had now conquered the face of the bossy head nurse. Karen glowed. "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. Please don't take my sunshine away..."

The next, day...the very next day...the little girl was well enough to go home.

Woman's Day Magazine called it The Miracle of a Brother's Song. The medical staff just called it a miracle. Karen called it a miracle of God's love.

NEVER GIVE UP ON THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE. LOVE IS SO INCREDIBLY POWERFUL.

Life is good. Have a Wonderful Day!

A winner is NOT one who NEVER FAILS, but one who NEVER QUITS!

Read on…

A candidate for a news broadcasters post was rejected by officials since his voice was not fit for a news broadcaster. He was also told that with his obnoxiously long name, he would never be famous. He is Amitabh Bacchan.


A small boy - the fifth amongst seven siblings of a poor father, was selling newspapers in a small village to earn his living. He was not exceptionally smart at school but was fascinated by religion and rockets. The first rocket he built crashed. A missile that he built crashed multiple times and he was made a butt of ridicule. He is the person to have scripted the Space Odyssey of India single-handedly - Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam.


In 1962, four nervous young musicians played their first record audition for the executives of the Decca recording Company. The executives were not impressed. While turning down this group of musicians, one executive said, "We don't like their sound. Groups of guitars are on the way out." The group was called The Beatles.


In 1944, Emmeline Snively, director of the Blue Book Modelling Agency told modelling hopeful Norma Jean Baker, "You'd better learn secretarial work or else get married." She went on and became Marilyn Monroe.


In 1954, Jimmy Denny, manager of the Grand Ole Opry, Fired a singer after one performance. He told him, "You ain't goin' nowhere....son. You ought to go back to drivin' a truck." He went on to become Elvis Presley.


When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone in 1876, it did not ring off the hook with calls from potential backers. After making a demonstration call,President Rutherford Hayes said, "That's an amazing invention, but who would ever want to see one of them?"


When Thomas Edison invented the light bulb, he tried over 2000 experiments before he got it to work. A young reporter asked him how it felt to fail so many times. He said, "I never failed once. I invented the light bulb. It just happened to be a 2000-step process."


In the 1940s, another young inventor named Chester Carlson took his idea to 20 corporations, including some of the biggest in the country. They all turned him down. In 1947, after 7 long years of rejections, he finally got a tiny company in Rochester, NY, the Haloid company, to purchase the rights to his invention -- an electrostatic paper-copying process. Haloid became Xerox Corporation.


A little girl - the 20th of 22 children, was born prematurely and her survival was doubtful. When she was 4 years old, she contracted double pneumonia and scarlet fever, which left her with a paralysed left leg. At age 9, she removed the metal leg brace she had been dependent on and began to walk without it. By 13 she had developed a rhythmic walk, which doctors said was a miracle. That same year she decided to become a runner. She entered a race and came in last. For the next few years every race she entered, she came in last. Everyone told her to quit, but she kept on running. One day she actually won a race. And then another. From then on she won every race she entered. Eventually this little girl - Wilma Rudolph, went on to win three Olympic gold medals.


A school teacher scolded a boy for not paying attention to his mathematics and for not being able to solve simple problems. She told him that you would not become anybody in life. The boy was Albert Einstein.


The Moral of the above Stories:
Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.

Pakao Jokes (PJs)

Q1. Prasad ask's Kumble to bring a pepsi... Kumble brings a bottle of pepsi but goes directly to Tendulkar.

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?

why ?? why ?? :-)

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?

Tendulkar is an opener
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Q2. The Madrasi said, I want to see the movie 'heart is umbrella'. Which movie did he really want to see?

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?

Dil Chhata Hai!
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Q3. Woh kya hai jo Dil main hain, Mann main hai par Dhadkan main nahi?

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Socho socho

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aarey Aamir Khan !!!!!!!
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Q4. What will! u call a person who is leaving India??

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Socho...............

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Hindustan Lever (Leaver).
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Q5. Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha us ka naam kya tha?

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?

Answer) adidas
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Q6. Luv and Kush are going to a village & in between comes a well. Luv fells into the well. Why ?

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Because Luv is blind!!!!!

Now Kush also jumps inside. Why?

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OK lot's of head scratching done.

Answer is... Luv ke liye saala kuch bhi karega!!!!

Want one more...
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Q7. Jackie Chan ki saas ka naam kya hai?..

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nahi pata..??

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answer) D'Cold

chain ki saans - D'cold
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Q8. chalo ab batao... Jackie Chan ki bahu ka naam kya hai ?

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this is quite simple..

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answer) D'Cold again

kyunki saans bhi kabhi bahu thi :P
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Q9. Jugal Hansraj and Mayuri Kango bus stop par khade the. Bus aayi - Mayuri gayi, magar Jugal nahin gaya - kyon?


?

?

Because Mayuri 'can - go'.

Ek aur.....
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Q10. Sharukh Khan aur Kajol bus stop pe khade hain. Kajol chali gayi, par Sharukh bus pe nahin chada - kyon??

?

?

think harder...

?

?

Kyonke woh Kajol ko chhodne aaya tha. Ha, ha, ha...

Ek aur muaka de hi dete hain tumhe
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Q11. kamal ,vimal do bhai they,dono bus stop pe khade the.. bus aai vimal chad jata hai per kamal nahin jata hai why???

?

?

Kyonkieeeeee bus per likha tha ONLY VIMAL !!!!!

aur chhaiye...theek hai
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Q12. Kadar Khan aur Shakti Kapoor dono bus stop pe khade the... bus aai aur Kadar Khan chad jata hai per Shakti Kapoor nahin jata Qyo???

?

?

Qyonkieeeeeee woh Shakti Kapoor
dusri bus ke wait kar raha tha

aakhri sawaal
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Q13.mitabh aur Pran dono bus estop pe khade the... bus aai aur Pran chad jata hai per Amitabh nahin jata Qyo???

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?

b/s pran jaye per bacchan na jaye

aab kya...

?

?

kucch bhi nahi.
Have good time and get back to work.
----------------------------------------------------

Think about it

Something to ponder about

1.If all the nations in the world are in debt(am not joking. even US has
got debts), where did all the money go? (weird)

2.When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? (to be given
a thought)

3.What is the speed of darkness? (absurd)

4.If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane
crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? (very good
thinking)

5.Who copyrighted the copyright symbol? (who knows)

6.Can you cry under water? (let me try)

7.Why do people say, "you've been working like a dog" when dogs just sit
around all day? (i think they meant something else)

8.Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed? (God knows)

9.Do fish ever get thirsty? (let me ask and tell)

10.Can you get cornered in a round room? (by ones eyes)

11.What does OK actually mean? (olli kuchi)

12.Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep? (tonight i will
stay and watch)

13.What came first, the fruit or the color orange? (seed)

14.If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? (No comments)

15.What should one call a male ladybird? (No comments)

16.If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they
remember that they forgot? (can somebody help )

17.Can you blow a balloon up under water? (yes u can)

18.Why is it called a "building" when it is already built? (strange
isn't it)

19.If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your
radio would you be able to hear it? (got to think scientifically)

20.If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your
headlights on, what happens? (i don't have a change to try)

21.Why is it called a TV set when there's only one? (very nice)

22.If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to
the core of the earth? (this is nice)

23.Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when
you legally can't go that fast on any road? (stupid, break the law)

Tamil Movies!!!

Recently Isaac Newton, the father of physics, made a visit to Earth to watch a movie. He watched a few Tamil movies and his head was in a spin.

He was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologised for everything he had done. Here are a few scenes from Rajinikanth's movies:

Rajinikanth has a brain tumour which, according to the doctors, can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajinikanth is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumour along with it and he is cured. Long live Rajinikanth!

Rajinikanth is confronted with three gangsters. He has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet. Guess, what he does? He throws a knife at the gangster standing in the centre and shoots at the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into two pieces, killing both the gangsters flanking the one in the centre, while the knife kills the middle one.

Rajinikanth is chased by a gangster. Rajinikanth has a revolver but he has no bullets in it. Guess, what he does? No, not even in your remotest imagination. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajinikanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun ... and the gangster dies.

This was too much for our Newton to take and he was completely shaken and he decided to go back. But he stayed around to watch another movie, thinking that at least it will follow his theory of physics. The whole movie goes on fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn't changed.

Oops! Not so fast. The climax finally arrives. Rajinikanth gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. It's so high that Rajinikanth can't jump even if he tries one of those superman techniques our heroes normally use. He has to desperately kill the villain. Rajinikanth pulls out two guns from his pocket. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun reaches the height of the wall, he shoots at the trigger of the first gun in the air with his second gun. Now the first gun fires off and the villain is dead.

Newton faints!

Laugh capsules

u r Ultimataa
u r Lovely
u r Likeable
u r Unique
In short... u r ULLU !!!

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

I am getting married next week.
There will be small party
and only a few people will be invited.
Don't brings any gifts.
just brings SOMEONE to marry me.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Galileo : Great Mind
Einstein : Genius Mind
Newton : Extraordinary Mind
Bill Gates : Brilliant Mind
ME : Master Mind
YOU : Never Mind

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Good Person : Its YOU
Good Friend : Its YOU again
Good Heart : That's YOU !
Good Will : Its also YOU !
Good Looking Ahh....
hold it. Its 2 much 4 u..... Now its ME

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

I wanted 2 kill the SWEETEST, SMARTEST
& the most beautiful person on the earth,
but then I thought.........
SUICIDE is a crime.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

I Look at the moon,
the moon is beautiful...
I look at you... I... I...I'd rather
look at the moon again...

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

CHI CHANG CHEN
LAINGHUANG THEIN
CHI KWA SIAU-CIE
WOHEN HAU NI THAZ
THAZ HAO OEI SIEN-SHENG
Popat ! Agar samj nahi aa raha ho
to padh kyon rahe ho....?

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Why do we drink water ?
Because we cannot eat it.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Which letters R* cute* ?
A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K-L-M
N-O-P-Q-R-S-T-U-V-W-X-Y-Z
Ans.: Don't tell any 1 ok?
'U' and 'I'

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Dad : Son, what do you want for your birthday?
Son : Not much dad, just a radio
with a sports car around it.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Zinjagi mein teen chijen kabhi bhi aa sakti hain....
1) PAISA,
2) MAUT
AUR ...... ......AUR
3) MERA MAIL

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-


Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha
kuch nahi bas tumhari shakal yaad aagayi
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

The more you study. The more you know.
The more you know. The more you forget.
The more you forget. The less you know.
So why study?

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Silent Smile :-)

Silence in lips may avoid many problems...
And Smile in lips may solve many problems.

So always have a silent smile... Have a nice day ahead..!

Winners of "I look like my Dog" contest!

Messages for life!

Are you the 2% or 98% of the population?

Follow the instructions! NO PEEKING AHEAD!

* Do the following exercise, guaranteed to raise an eyebrow.

* There's no trick or surprise.

* Just follow these instructions, and answer the questions one at a time and as quickly as you can!

* Again, as quickly as you can but don't advance until you've done each of them ... really.

* Now, scroll down (but not too fast, you might miss something.)



1. Think of a number from 1 to 10

2. Multiply that number by 9

3. If the number is a 2-digit number, add the digits together

4. Now subtract 5

5. Determine which letter in the alphabet corresponds to the number you ended up with (example: 1=a, 2=b, 3=c etc.)

6. Think of a country that starts with that letter.

7. Remember the last letter of the name of that country.

8. Think of the name of an animal that starts with that letter.

9. Remember the last letter in the name of that animal.

10. Think of the name of a fruit that starts with that letter.











Are you thinking of a Kangaroo in Denmark eating an Orange?

I told you this was FREAKY!! If not, you're among the 2% of the population whose minds are different enough to think of something else.. 98% of people will answer with kangaroos in Denmark when given this exercise Keep this message going. This one is actually worth sending on to others. Forward it to people you know so they can find out if they are
usual or unusual.

Amazing answer sheets

Answer in Short


Importance of communication


Sea fisshing in India


Math

God does exist

A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed.

As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation.
They talked about so many things and various subjects.

When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said: "I don't believe that God exists."

"Why do you say that?" asked the customer.

"Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn't exist. Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people?
Would there be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain. I can't imagine a loving a God who would allow all of these things."

The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond because he didn't want to start an argument.

The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop. Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard. He looked dirty and unkempt.


The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber: "You know what? Barbers do not exist."

"How can you say that?" asked the surprised barber. "I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!"

"No!" the customer exclaimed. "Barbers don't exist because if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside."

"Ah, but barbers DO exist! " answered the barber. " What happens, is, people do not come to me. "

"Exactly!"- affirmed the customer. "That's the point! God, too, DOES exist! What happens, is, people don't go to Him and do not look for Him.

That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world."

Dilbert's Theorem on Salary

Dilbert's Theorem on Salary states that engineers and scientists never earn as much salary as business executives, sales people & Management guys This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following three postulates:



Postulate 1:
Knowledge is Power (Knowledge=Power)

Postulate 2:
Time is Money (Time=Money)

Postulate 3:
(as every engineer knows): Power =Work/Time

It therefore follows:

Knowledge = Work / Time

and since Time = Money, we have:

Knowledge = Work / Money.

Solving for Money, we get:

Money = Work/Knowledge

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of Work done.

Conclusion 1:
The Less you Know, the More you Make.

Conclusion 2:
This is the reason why your BOSS is paid more.

Mallu jokes are here!!!

1) What is the tax on a Mallu's income called?
IngumDax

2) Where did the Malayali study?
In the ko-liage.

3) Why did the Malayali not go to ko-liage today?
He is very bissi.

4) Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket?
To go to Thuubai, zimbly to meet his ungle in Gelff.

5) Why do Malayalis go to the Gelff?
To yearn meney.

6) What did the Malayali do when the plane caught fire?
He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.

7) How does a Malayali spell moon?
MOON - Yem Woh yet another Woh and Yen

8) What is Malayali management graduate called?
Yem Bee Yae.

9) What does a Malayali do when he goes to America ?
He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.

10) What does a Malayali use to commute to office everyday?
An Oto

11) Where does he pray?
In a Temble, Charch and a Maask

12) Who is Bruce Lee's best friend ?
A Malaya-Lee of coarse.

13) Name the only part of the werld, where Malayalis dont werk hard?
Kerala.

14) Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?
Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and re-tying the lungi

15) Why did Saddam Hussain attackKuwait?
He had a Mallu baby-sitter, who always used to say 'KEEP QUWAIT' 'KEEP QUWAIT'

16) What is the Latest Malayali Punch Line?
" Frem Tea Shops To Koll Cenders , We Are Yevery Where "

17) Why aren't Mals included in hockey and football teams ?
Coz Whenever they get a corner , they set up a tea shop.

18) Now pass it on to 5 Mals to get a free sample of
kokanet oil.

19) Pass it on 10 Mals to get a free pack of Benana
Chibbs.

20) Pass it on to 15 Mals to get a set of BROGUN
bones....

Professional way of writing a love letter

This is how, to write a love letter, in a professional manner....



Dearest Girl:

I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in love with you since Monday, the 29th of Jan 2001.

With reference to the meeting held between us on the 29th of Jan 2001 at 2300 hours, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover.

Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on-the-relationship training and relationship appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us.

Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broad-minded enough, to be taken care of, on your expense account. I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be treated as cancelled without further notice and I shall be considering some other girl. I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.

Thanking you in anticipation.

Yours sincerely,

Boy

Situations where "OH! SHIT" is considered appropriate

oh! shit


oh! shit


oh! shit


oh! shit


oh! shit

Professor at IIMs explaining marketing concepts to Students

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. "Marry me!" - That's Direct Marketing"

2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: "He's very rich. "Marry him." -That's Advertising"

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich. "Marry me - That's Telemarketing"

4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car) for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say: "By the way, I'm rich. Will you "Marry Me?" - That's Public Relations

5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says:"You are very rich! "Can you marry ! me?" - That's Brand Recognition

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. - "That's Customer Feedback"

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband. - "That's demand and supply gap"

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?" and she
goes with him - "That's competition eating into your market share"

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your wife arrives. - "That's restriction for entering new markets"

Thats Confidence

A hypothetical situation where 20 CEO's board an airplane and are told that the flight that they are about to take is the first-ever to feature Pilot less technology: It is an uncrewed aircraft.



Each one of the CEO's is then told, privately, that their company's software is Aircraft's automatic pilot system. Nineteen of the CEO's promptly leave the aircraft, each offering a different type of excuse.

One CEO alone remains on board the jet, seeming very calm indeed, asked why he is so confident in this first uncrewed flight, he replies "If it is the same software that runs my company's IT systems, this plane won't even take off."

Thats Confidence!!!